Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Randomize
