All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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