Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
