i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Im part way to drunk.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Randomize
