Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
