Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
