Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
