Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
