I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
