There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
