I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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