Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
