She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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