**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize