Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
