Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
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