we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
