so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
did you just send me my own nude
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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