Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
you inspire me to be a worse person
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
