i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
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