but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Floor bacon is actually really good
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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