that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize
