Hey man sorry I got all grabby
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Randomize
