therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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