Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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