would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
