Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
