I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
