Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
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