he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
A bitchslap is in order.
Randomize