Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
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