Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
