Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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