Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
