Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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