Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
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