the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
