see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
