Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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