BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
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