Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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