she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
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