I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize