i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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