Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize