I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Buhtt sex?
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
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