I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
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