The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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