You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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