What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
