We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
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