nut hugger
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
