My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
she smelled like a LAN party
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
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