M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize