so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
