Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Randomize
