last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Well I just put wine in my tea
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
