ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
