Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
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