Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
